Connie:
You know, Meg, there's no dogs
allowed here so you're gonna
have to leave,
but Brian can stay.
Brian:
You know, Connie,
I think I have a theory
about why you're such a bitch.
Connie:
Excuse me?
Meg:
Brian let's just go.
Brian:
No, no, no hang on, hang on.
You see Connie,
you're popular
because you developed
early and started giving
handjobs when you were twelve
and now you can't stand
to look at yourself in the mirror
because all you see is a whore.
So you pick on Meg to avoid
the inevitable realization that
once your body is used up by age 19
you're going to be a worn-out,
chalky-skinned burlap-sack
that even your step-dad won't want.
How's that?
Am I in the ballpark?